Women Can’t Be Understood? Where Men Got it All Wrong

Photo: Greennews


“Women are difficult to understand”. You’ve heard that over and over again. I’ve heard it several times too. I have a friend who believes women are some kind of mystery that needs to be deciphered.

He would usually claim that when a woman says no, she actually means yes. When they say “Maybe”, they actually mean yes but not now. To him, women are simply a bundle of paradox. One needs a million page manual to be able to understand who women actually are.

Amazingly, this friend I’m talking about doesn’t even have a girlfriend. I wonder how he’s been able to study women without living with one. That’s a topic for another day.

When a woman says “No” she means “Yes”? Really?

I once got along pretty well with a lady. I knew she liked me. She always calls me first thing in the morning and asked if she was part of my plans. Most of the time I would say yes. I don’t usually have plans.

After some time, I decided it was the right time to hit on her. In my mind, she had given me enough reasons to hit on her. She had given me clues to indicate that if I say I want her, she would say yes.

I finally got her in my room one day and tried to make a move. She raised the right hand and said no! It hit me like a thunderbolt; No sɛ sɛn? I mean how could she? But it was her answer. It was then I realized I got it all twisted. It was difficult but I had to let go cos she said no.

Where is the ‘yes’ in this ‘no’? Or all of a sudden men can’t differentiate between a word that starts with a ‘Y’ and another that starts with an ’N’? No means no, no matter who is saying it.

Now Let’s Try To Understand Women…

As a man, you have only one job. Just one job when it comes to women; Try to understand a womAn, not WomEn. Est-ce clair? It is not your business to try to understand all women; who gave you that job? What business do you have trying to understand women of the world?

That is not possible. So you see, the problem is not that women cannot be understood. The problem is, men are trying to take up a job that is impossible to accomplish.

Pick a woman. Try knowing her fears and understand her insecurities. When you don’t understand something she does or says, you have every right to ask and a woman will give you an answer. No two women are the same just as no two men are the same. Each comes from a different background with different stories.

Therefore, trying to tie all women onto one stick and judge them as “difficult to understand” is very disrespectful. Things that will make Yaa cry will probably get Akos to bite off your nose; both are different!

Naturally, people who are not us are difficult to understand. People who are not like us can’t readily understand why we do the things we do. I’m hard to understand. Sometimes the things I say or do surprises me.

You can live with a person all your life and still get surprises from the things they do. It’s in women and it’s in men too. I still for the life of me can’t understand why a friend of mine spent so much money just to decorate his car wheels.

He’s a man. I’m a man. Yet we have challenges trying to understand each other sometimes.

Granted…there are some behavioral patterns that run through the feminine line;

#1. They have too many shoes than they actually need. Anyway, that shouldn’t be your problem. Women have complicated fashion needs than men. You can’t stop them from having too many shoes. Get over it!

#2. They usually take forever to do their make-up so you end up being late for the program. Obviously, shaving the eyebrows and drawing them back on with a tiny pencil so both eyebrows look the same isn’t an easy task. Try to understand her. She wants to be beautiful just so you can take credit for it.

#3. Usually, they’ll tell you they are fine but the truth is, they are not. The fact that you asked whether she’s fine means you suspected she’s not. If she tells you she’s not fine and goes on to tell you why she’s not fine, you’ll call her a nagging partner. She’s fine. Period! Drama avoided.

#4.  When you buy them a bag, they are thankful. Seriously they are happy to receive such a wonderful gift from you. Be ready to later buy them a dress and a pair of shoes that match with the bag you bought them. Oh nooo, that isn’t part of the gift. That will come as a request. Just buy it. They love the combination. It’s not their fault. It’s the fault of their fashion sense.

#5. When you are getting late for a program and you call them to hurry up, they’ll ask for just five minutes. Only five minutes. If she’s doing #2, five minutes means half an hour.

Five minutes only means five minutes if she had given you five minutes to finish watching a football game so she could change the channel to watch her favorite telenovela. You dare not go a second beyond five minutes.

A woman is easy to understand. Women are a mystery. A man is equally easy to understand but men are mysteries too. Our struggles only begin when we try to understand all women—Ghanaian women, Russian women, Kenyan women, and all women around the globe.

That isn’t possible. A book of endless pages wouldn’t suffice to know who women are. When you find a woman, know her story. Understand why she behaves the kind of way she does. If you have trouble understanding her, ask her gently. Don’t assume.

Don’t ever assume she doesn’t know the answer when she asks; “Who were you talking to last night”

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  1. Interesting…!!
    Get to know a woman better and you’ll definitely understand her.
    Very interesting!

    • If I get to judge you base on my encounter with other women, I become an unfair judge. So I’ll have to know you and judge what i know of you base on you.

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