I’ve said yes to so many things. It’s easy to say yes. It’s easy to say yes to all the wrong things. My ex-girlfriend called me at dawn. I didn’t know what was chasing after her at that time. I wondered: Why me? Why is it that of all the humans in her life, I’m the only one she could decide to call at this ungodly hour?
Inner Me: Don’t pick the call. Remember she left you when you needed her the most? Don’t pick it!
Real Me: Maybe she misses my kisses. Who knows, she’s calling to come for more. Pick it!
“Hello, Nesta here blah blah blah blah.” I ended up paying for food and drinks I had no idea it was being consumed. Her boyfriend stood her up. She’d already ordered food and drinks but had no money to pay. I settled the bill. I saw her off to her house. I didn’t get the kiss and walked back home still lonely.
You don’t have much money but some ‘yes’ will take the little that you have on you. ‘No’ could have saved me some money but I said yes. I lost. I felt stupid. Maybe I am stupid.
No means ‘yes’ and yes means no. When you say no to knowledge, you automatically say yes to idiocy. When you say yes to the warmth of the night, it’s an automatic no to the night’s coldness. That’s why we need to choose our yes in a situation where the things we say no to still serves us well.
If we had to say yes, then our yes should help us to;
#1 Take some risk
Some bit of risk adds flavor to everyday’s life. Learn to fly without a safety net. Who knows, you might not fall anyway. You can’t learn anything worthwhile whiles playing it safe all the time. Let yourself go. That lady you are crushing on, have the courage to ask her out. If she says no, at least you tried. It’s better than having to wonder all your life what the lady would have said if you told her you loved her.
Don’t you love your job? Why perpetuate your suffering in the name of finding a new one before you leave? Take the risk. Leave. And use all the time you have to find a new one. When we face the things we fear most, we later realize there was nothing to fear in the first place.
#2. Save some money
Learn to put some money away and also learn not to touch it. Save as much as you could. It shouldn’t be necessarily huge amount. Start small but don’t stop it. little bits of money put away will soon be big enough to be invested in a venture that could bring reasonable results.
In the book “The Richest Man in Babylon” Algamish said; “Wealth, like a tree, grows from a tiny seed. The first copper you save is the seed from which your tree of wealth shall grow.” The little amount you put away today becomes the seed of wealth you sow for your tomorrow. Never underestimate little money. If well cared for, they become the wealth of our tomorrow.
#3. Help Someone
Charles Dickens said it better when he said; “No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.” We have our burdens. That notwithstanding, there is always something we can do for another to put a smile on their face. We don’t have to go through life, always looking for opportunities to do things for money. Somedays, let’s do things for people without expecting to be paid—without expecting any reciprocations.
Kindness is a seed we sow. When you do a favor for someone, it never goes wasted. Favor compounds in interest. When you least expected it, someone you did a favor to will appear to pay you back when you needed it the most. Even the little things like helping someone carry their bags at the bus transit. Paying for the person who comes next after you or even being kind with your words have a way of keeping us in the good books of others.
Be in shape. Take care of the body. It’s all you have. People will leave your life but your body won’t leave you. It’s the only thing that’s going to be with you till your last breath. So why don’t you spend some time to care for this friend? Care for this sack of bones that will carry you till the end of days.
Exercise doesn’t have to be hitting the gym every day and lifting dead loads. You can take some time to walk around. You can walk to the places that you go with vehicles. By all means, don’t sit all day. Walk, run, do some stretches now and then and eat well. It doesn’t have to come from a resolution. You can do it without thinking about it. It’s the least thing you could do for your body—for your friend-till-the-end-of-time.
#5. Get Good At Asking
Robbin Sharma said “the person who asks for what he wants at least has a chance of getting what he wants. The person who does not ask has no chance.” We are scared people will say no to us so we don’t ask at all. Everybody has the right to say no to you but you also have the right to ask. Don’t assume they’ll say no until they say no. Ask.
Many people are ready to help—help us get through our struggles. That one thing you needed to make your life worthwhile, that’s the one thing someone is also ready to give. But we don’t ask. So we lose the chance of having the amazing grace promised to us. Ask…it might be given.
#6. Look into the mirror
When things don’t go well in your life, do you look into the mirror or you look through the window? When mistakes happen, is it your character to always be looking through the window? People look for others to blame when they face mishap. They look through the window, find whoever their eyes see and say; “you are responsible for my suffering.” “Had it not been you, I would have been successful in doing A or B.
We blame others instead of looking in the mirror and say to that guy; “you fucked it up big time, go out there and make a change.” When we blame others, we unconsciously resist the opportunity to change. It wasn’t my fault so why do I have to change? It is he, who’s fault it is that has to change.
Look in the mirror. Take responsibility. Own your mistake and correct them. That is the only way to grow.
#7. Just Don’t give a fuck
Yeah, you don’t have to give a sh!t about what people think about you and the way you run your life. People will say what they want to say but remember, you are the captain of this ship called “Your Life.” You alone can run it the best way you could. You alone can take it to a place where you’ll feel safe.
People will have their opinions as to how best you can run your life but it’s your life. Listen but take your own decisions. Don’t be forced to take decisions that don’t sit well with your spirit. Don’t allow people to live their lives through you. If they know how best to live a life, then they should live it. Be you and the best of you is always the goal.