Eventually, he let her go. To him, it was the best option, considering all the problems they were going through. The fights became too many. The suspicions made it very difficult to live the life he had always wanted to live. So, he texted her one dawn and said “Dear, it’s not working. Let’s give it a try with others. Who knows, we might find the joy that has eluded us for this long.”
We get to this crossroad sometimes in our lives. We get confused not knowing if it’s ever going to work out between us and the people we are in relationships with. Sometimes we want to end it. Sometimes we want to give it one more try. To the one who is confused and doesn’t know what to do, hear me out.
Watch out for these signs in your relationship and give it one more try
#1. When you are not sure letting go is the best idea
Letting someone you’ve invested a lot of your time in go is not a decision you have to make on a whim. Letting them go means starting all over again with someone else. A relationship is one hell of a dicey thing; it’s not easy to start and it’s not easy to end it. Don’t press the exit button when you are not sure you are making the best decision at the very moment that you are in. If you are not sure, the best thing is to give it some time.
#2. When your partner is making honest effort to change
You see, we all crave change sometimes but change doesn’t happen overnight. Change takes time. Walking away from an old habit usually takes a lot of time and resolve than we usually allow space for. Realize the baby steps your partner is taking towards change and give them credit for it. It’s when we desire for change and want it immediately that we are left disappointed. I’m not saying they should take an eternity to change. I’m saying change takes time. The most important thing is the effort they put into the change process.
#3. When it’s about a problem you can fix
Don’t leave a relationship based on a problem you both could have fixed. Don’t take a forever decision on a temporary problem. The best thing to do is to talk about the problem and see reasons to get it fixed. People are not perfect in their ways. If you see something wrong with whoever you are dating, the best decision isn’t to walk away. When you walk away from this, it means you’ll have another reason to walk away from your next relationship. Stay a little longer and try to get whatever the problem is fixed. You build what you want. No one will do that for you.
#4. When the patches of good are more than the bad
Every relationship goes through lean periods. There are times you don’t love whoever you’re with. It’s alright. You can’t always be in love. Humans are not created this way. Before you let go, count your blessings and name them one by one. When the good surpasses the bad, it’s clear sign you have to stay and work to earn more good to your side. Bad patches will come. Good patches may seem few. But remember, one negative is capable of drowning thousands of positives so before you conclude it’s all negative, begin to count your blessings. You might be surprised to know, it isn’t all bleak like you think it is. Before you pull off the switch, count your blessings.
Your best friends will sometimes sound like they love you more than you love your own self. They’ll try dictating to you on how you ought to run your own relationship. They sometimes even try to show you what you didn’t know can make you happy. It’s alright. They are doing what friends are supposed to do—love you. But in the end, you get to make the final decision. Don’t let things go just because it’s a friend who’s pushing you to. Your friend can’t possibly get everything right all the time. You can’t possibly get everything wrong all the time too. It’s your relationship. Make the decisions.
#6. This too shall pass
Nothing lasts forever. The good, the bad and the worse have a way of phasing off to allow something new to take their place. When you are walking through hell, this too shall pass. When you are lying in a bed of roses, it’s sad to say but that too shall pass. Look yonder and anticipate the coming of new fragrance into your relationship. The hope of a better tomorrow makes us desire to live for one more day. Carry same hope of a better tomorrow into your relationship and you’ll find a reason to carry on. Did I say nothing lasts forever?
#7. When the mistake could have happened to you too
There are genuine mistakes. If we can be true to ourselves, there are mistakes we ourselves could have committed, finding ourselves in the same situations and circumstances like others did. When that happens, we should be lenient with our judgment. When a partner commits a genuine mistake, put yourself in their shoes first. Talk to them about it but be lenient. Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill.
Don’t leave a relationship when a little bit of effort and time could have made things better. A relationship is difficult because people are not perfect. Realize this and stay for a while and make things work. When you leave when you should have tried, you soon regret your decisions and seek to make a U-turn.
Before you call it quit, make sure you’ve exhausted all available avenues for redress. That way, when you finally leave, your heart will be at rest. Knowing you gave it your all but didn’t work out is a lovely bliss when you finally walk out.
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