#1. Making the Grades guarantees a Better Life in Future
Education is everything to my mum. It’s not just about going to school but having better grades term after term. It was not good enough to be second in class. She always wanted to see ‘Excellent’ remarks on my terminal report. She believed and made me understood that those ‘Excellent’ remarks are my gateway to future a better life.
She had plenty examples off-head of people who didn’t make it in life. To her, the reason was simple; they didn’t get education or they were not able to earn the ‘excellent’ remarks on their terminal report. If I didn’t learn a day, she would remind me of how those who didn’t learn a day ended up.
Flash forward to today. Grades don’t matter. It doesn’t define who you are or who you could become or couldn’t become. Better grades means you’re good at memorizing lecture notes. It’s just an indication that you’ve learnt something. It has no bearing with how successful and happy you could become.
My two former CEOs didn’t have formal education. They used people like us with formal education to build their dreams and wealth. They didn’t go to school…They just happened to know how to get things done through graduates.
#2. You can become whatever you dream to be
“After university graduation, you could become whatever you dream to become, That is, if you manage to pass with flying colours.” That’s my mum talking. She used words of motivation as such to get me to do the things she wanted me to do.
“Whatever you dream to be” didn’t include being a comedian, a musician or a magician who works for the amusement of others. “Whatever you dream to be” includes a lawyer, a doctor, an Engineer or if situations are too bad and you couldn’t end up to be anything, at least you should be a teacher. That was her definition of “whatever you dream to be.”
The lie is this, there are so many things I can’t become however hard I try. There is something I could definitely become with little ease because I love to do such. Because it gives me the happiness to do such and it comes naturally to me. Those are the things I could become. I couldn’t become what I didn’t want to be. I can be something, not everything.
#3. God helps those who help themselves.
God needs some space for a miracle. Usually those miracles are performed on those who didn’t give anything to deserve what they were given. Those are the ones, who didn’t helped themselves yet God found them. Those are the living definitions of what is called “favor”.
God helps those who help themselves. Those who don’t, favor finds them. They are the ones whose lives gives us a reason to believe in miracles. It doesn’t happen usually. Once it happens, it’s a miracle.
#4. When I was your age I was…
This lie seems to be a common lie among parents. A child cannot seem to be better than a parent when they were like the child. When I was 7th in my class, my mum would say; that’s very poor of you. “I was better than this when I was like you.” That means I have to strive to be better next time. I have to strive to better the records of my mum.
I wished then I could get one of her class mates to ask how good my mum was during school. I couldn’t get any. She wouldn’t show me any of her class mates.
I remember one day she asked about my age. She thought I didn’t know. She thought I wouldn’t remember. Then I told her I was 6 years. For once I thought I’d beaten her expectation. But guess what her reply was; “Idiot, when I was like your age I was 8 years old.
#5. Trust me, it doesn’t hurt
One thing every parent knows is that their child hates pain. When they want to do something to you that is usually painful, they go like; “Trust me, it wouldn’t hurt.” Know this, whatever you are asked to do after hearing this statement hurts like hell. I didn’t understand why they wouldn’t accept that it hurts and prepare your mind towards the pain.
When I had a cut, she comes with some concoction to treat the cut. The first assurance was; It doesn’t hurt. Deep down I knew it was going to hurt like hell. But I dared not resist. It doesn’t hurt ends up hurting like hell.
#6. It’s not bitter, taste and you’ll love it
When my mum wanted to give drug that’s bitter, she will first taste it right in front of me. Then with a broad smiling face she tells me; hmmmm it tastes like honey. Then I’m eager to taste it too. Who doesn’t like honey?
That lie usually made me question her sense of taste. When she finishes cooking and tell me the food tastes sweet, I doubt it. I knew the kind of troubles things she called sweet caused me. So I usually taste with the tip of my tongue first. Just to be sure. Me and her have different sense of taste. Usually the opposite
#7. I’m waiting for you. Go inside and wear something
My mum was my first love. I didn’t want to be where she was not. Even when she didn’t want to carry me, I was alright. As far as I walked by her side, I’m good to go.
Then all of a sudden she didn’t want to go to places with me. Maybe it was a sign that I was growing up so I had to learn to kick it on my own. Somedays she will go without my knowing. Little tears here and there but soon I’m ok. Sometimes I see right from the start this woman want to go somewhere.
I will start hanging around her. She take a step, I’ll take two. Then she will look at me and see what I’m not wearing then ask me to go inside and wear it. By the time I return, she was gone. So I learnt to walk backwards anytime she tried that. That woman was a magician. One time I walked slowly backwards with my eyes fixed on her so she wouldn’t run. Then I blinked, tadaa she was gone.
Looking back to the days mum told me all that, I realized these ‘lies’ were told with the best of intentions. Mum wanted her first boy to be a better person. She wanted to have a bragging right over a son whose job it is to change the world. One thread runs through all the ‘lies’ up above; More was expected of me. Less isn’t better when you could win everything.
I just looked at my 2 months old boy and smiled; Get ready son, there are more lies to be told. When I was like your age, I was one year already.
Deal with it!